For a lot of us, the title of the post is a sentence we often think, (or really worry), about. It is the cog that keeps the wheels of insecurity and doubt, well oiled and endlessly spinning.
Through our existential pondering, we begin to doubt the causes we commit to, we’re encouraged to flit from relationship to relationship when we find any misalignment, and we stack our CVs sky high. The pressure to find the unequivocal reason to exist, is exponential.
Since leaving University, I’ve found my sense of true, innate, purpose had disappeared over night. Now, in reflection, considering how quickly it disappeared, I wonder how truly “innate” it was. Suddenly my sense of purpose was no longer dictated. It had to be found. I ended up persevering in situations thinking perhaps if I ignored my intuition, I would find my purpose. All that resulted in was feeling bone tired with the world I had created.
Most days I wasn’t particularly needed anywhere, nor was there anywhere I particularly wanted to be. My enjoyment of life’s small moments cowered in the shadow of my overwhelming need for a seamless, expansive sense of meaning that mapped across everything I did. Most nights, I would close my eyes, sink into my mattress, and my obsession would damp my cheeks with heavy tears.
I knew, something needed to change, but at that time, I didn’t know what.
Then, in my exploration of intentional and slow living, I found that purpose can easier than I could have ever imagined. As many of us who have chosen to start to live life slowly and with intention, we find there is a significant mindset shift needed. Some of the most significant shifts that I’ve found for myself personally, are scarcity to abundance, helplessness to autonomy, and dependance to solitude. In this particular case, it was shifting from what gives me purpose to what gives me purpose in this moment. Our search for a meaning or purpose, is not inherently flawed. What is flawed is our perception that we have to have one immovable, unchangeable purpose in our wonderful fluid lives.
And it’s not just seeking purpose in the present moment that will allow us to feel fulfilment; it’s also what allows us to feel hope, joy, and connection. Connect with what speaks to our intuition. To the knowledge we have settled deep in the marrow of our bones or passed down through our ancestors. It allows us to muse about what makes our heart beat, or maybe skip a beat.
A key cognitive step in this process was viewing purpose as individual moments that collect to a whole, rather than a whole that must be identified in each and every moment. This lens allows us to truly be present for each moment we experience, rather than be bystanders, or worse, pseudo academics cramming experiences into theories that don’t fit.
Another key aspect of finding purpose in each moment, is recognising the role of the self.** We go through change every moment, whether or not that change is perceptible. We are a collection of fluctuating moods, incrementally deteriorating bodies, and varying processes. From this perspective, it would be naive to believe that we must find one true calling. As we change and grow everyday, it would follow that what we believe to be our most innate purposes, will change alongside us. Maybe they also shift imperceptibly or maybe we find our connection wavers. Maybe just for now, this sense of purpose, in this moment, this is enough.
This method, doesn’t invalidate a long term purpose, but allows for the natural fluctuation of change. It is not to negate the value of long-term purpose, but rather to alleviate the pressure for those of us do not quite feel that.
So, before the pressure to find a true and sole purpose overwhelms, allow the beauty and magnitude of the present moment to really dawn on you. You’ll find more meaning, connection and growth in true and whole observation, than you could have ever predicted.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!
Until next time,
**The idea of the “self” and how we interact with it, is a tricky one to contemplate. Don does a wonderful job of explaining it in his post tagged below. Later on I’d love to write a whole post on it, and how I choose to incorporate it into slow and purposeful living.
Rumi said “It would be as if a king sent you to a village on a specific mission. If you went and performed a hundred other tasks, but neglected to accomplish the task for which you were sent, it would be as though you had done nothing.”
At first glance, it would appear this is contradictory to the premise of your essay. I don’t believe it is. I think you address a key point in that people get hung up on thinking their purpose is this one big thing they must get right. I think it’s more a role in the story to play . When we discover our true desire paired with our unique design, empowers our dreams, then we can fulfill our destiny, our role on earth.
Thank you for your thought-provoking, writing 🙏
Yes! 🙌🏻 I discovered this same truth several years ago. And I’ve come to see “purpose” as the combination of personality, skills, preferences, and experiences that each of us brings to whatever we do. It’s about using our unique mix of these to serve something beyond ourselves.
Have you ever heard of the website, Sloww.co ? If not, I think (based on this post) that you’d love it! 😊