My interpretation of the crux of Buddhism
& the beauty of language
For me, there are two aspects that make language beautiful.
One; how we have learnt to communicate the innate and the serendipitous, and two; how language has evolved and continues to evolve alongside humanity.
Isolated experiences become shared when we learn how to bridge the ‘me’ with the ‘you.’ Through speech we may liberate the truth we see, utilising our mastery on a subject to explain something ten different ways, from ten different perspectives.
I believe this may be why the Buddha said never to write down the Dharma. Someone who truly understands a concept can explain it tenfold over, with no difficulty. If we rely only on written text, we rely on an individuals ability to surpass their own paradigms, their own frames of references - we don’t extend grace to meet people where they are.
So that, I think, is why the Dharma, like any philosophy, practice or religion, should be discussed, and dissected and questioned. Moulded and remoulded, while still conveying a truth. That is how we learn, and that is how we master.
So what are the words then, that get to the heart of Buddhism for me?
Nothing eventuates how we envision, nor nothing eventuates when we envision it to.
In Buddhism, expectation and attachment are fairly researched and explored principles, and most variations of Buddhism, spirituality and even western mindfulness have their own interpretation of these concepts. But only recently I discovered for myself, how truly interlinked the two concepts are.
Growing up, I found that when Buddhists talked about attachment, sometimes they refer to the attachment we have to physical things, our clothes, cars, possessions. Other times, they refer to an attachment to people, or our self (this is, perhaps a connection to the concept of non-self). The emphasis has always been an internal attachment to an external concept.
But now I sense, that the issue isn’t our attachment to an “other,” but rather our attachment to our own expectations over the other.
Our expectations flicker like the flame of a candle, darting this way and that. As our circumstances change, consequentially, so does our expectation for that moment.
How often do you find that happens? In one moment you’re perfectly content with your decision, and then only moments later you’re frustrated and lost, and then, yet again, the circumstances change, and you flicker back to happiness - all the while your initial lot hasn’t changed.
Traffic is a great example of this. Say you have to attend an event at 6pm, and it’s 5.45pm - you’re running late. You’re annoyed at yourself, you always say you’ll leave early but you never do. You hop in the car and get all green lights, you’re thrilled, being late isn’t an issue now, you’ll get there in plenty of time.
Damn, you turn the corner, and there’s a minor accident, traffic is backed up. Suddenly the frustration at being late floods back in, and your agitated, drumming your fingers against the steering wheel, leaning this way and that to get a better view.
Finally you arrive at the event - and guess what, you’re the only one there! Everyone else arrives late, 10 minutes later. You feel a bit sheepish at the anger and frustration you felt earlier, it didn’t even matter you were a bit late!
See how, if we weren’t attached to our feeling of lateness, this dizzying whiplash may not have exhausted us as much as it did? If we had simply and quietly accepted we would be late, (after it was too late to remedy our tardiness!), the changes in circumstances; green lights, accidents, everyone else being late, would simply wash over us, unable to sway the distance we have created between our expectations and being able to observe reality.
Relinquish expectation over a singular moments - as our expectation of what should happen, and when it should happen, changes from moment to moment.